Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
