you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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