Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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