umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
