Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
