I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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