He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
