i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
