definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
