we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize