You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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