Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
