Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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