Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
