im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
