Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
