you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
