Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
