We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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