am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
