question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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