That's when you crack a 10am beer
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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