it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
