he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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