So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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