No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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