Sacagawea was the original milf.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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