You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
