I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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