Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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