every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
