never play flip cup with pint glasses
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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