I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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