pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
