I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
