Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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