Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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