she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize