it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so let's talk penis.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize