Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
