Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
