don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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