Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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