Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
What a dumb baby whore.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
