A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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