I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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