Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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