Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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