Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
