He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
