I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
