Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
