My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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