Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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