I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my mouth tastes like poor choices
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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