doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
