just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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