the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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