Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
