its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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