i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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